It can be easy to think we are in love when actually our motives are the farthest thing from love. Paul gave us a clear blueprint for godly love in 1 Corinthians 13. Love is not selfish. It seeks the best interests of others and is willing to sacrifice. Today, we tend to think of love as just an emotion. But the Scripture is clear that love is defined by our actions.
Much of what the world calls love is selfishness or even worse outright lust. If we are really honest, many times we use relationships for what we get out of them not what we can do for others. Only you and God really know if your relationships are marked by true love. Are you concerned about the interests of the other person more than yourself? Are you will to sacrifice for the other person or are you sacrificing them for what you desire?
If you are a Christian, does your love for God even outweigh your love for your closest family and friends? These are hard questions that we don’t generally want to answer in a me-first, gotta-have-more society. But if we want to find true love, we have to be honest that it comes from something that we can’t find if we look for it in the wrong place and in the wrong way. Pure love comes from a pure heart, which itself is a gift from God.
I have come across many well-intensioned Christians who ended up in misery or divorce because self and not God was the center of their relationships. We must come to realize that the only way to get what we truly desire is to trust God with our relationships. Our desires may entice us to do things that ultimately lead to more appetite and less fulfillment.
God is not holding out on us. He wants us to know love, the incredible gift of sex in a marriage relationship, the sense of acceptance and the other things we tend to seek from relationships. The big difference is that God knows we will only experience love in a truly beneficial way if we follow these two keys – first, love God with all your heart, your soul and your mind, and secondly, to love your neighbor as yourself.
Our relationships will work out for the best if we put God first and love others more than ourselves. Imagine a world where these motivations influenced our relationships and how we treat other people. There would be a lot more giving and less taking going on in our everyday conversations and interactions. We would be willing to forgive because we would recognize how God through Jesus Christ has forgiven us. Our identity and sense of acceptance would start with a loving God who is eternal and unchanging not with the opinions of any person, which can change with the wind.
Love as God intended is truly the best love of all.