For the last month, I have been very unsettled. It is as if I need to make some changes, but I am not sure what should go, what should stay and what should be done differently and in what order. Is this an early mid-life crisis?
Literally, everything has been up for grabs. And I mean everything… but Jesus. This includes where I live, my current profession, going back to school, relationships, what I eat, daily routines, etc. I feel a bit like a caged animal. Honestly, I am not sure why.
Some might say this is just because you want to be married. While this is true, I think my “issue” goes way beyond that.
I don’t have a bad life. But I do feel quite unsettled, and I don’t like feeling this way.
I generally don’t ascribe much weight to fortune cookies. But the other day I got a fortune cookie that said, “You will make a number of changes before you become settled.”
After reading the fortune, I looked around and wondered if this was a sign. It felt like somebody was reading my mail.
Here is a list of the tough questions that I have been asking myself. Do any of these resound with anyone else out there?
- Why do I struggle so much to love others and tell them about Jesus?
- Am I a good neighbor?
- How long can I keep on writing about the bad economy at work before I become very depressed?
- Why do I frequently dream about living some where else? Should I move out West?
- Why do I worry so much about money when I always have everything that I need?
- Why do I frequently feel like a C-grade Christian?
- How many times this week will I put off my workout?
- Should I institute a weekly meal plan and stick to it?
- Why is my house a love/hate thing? One minute I can’t wait to get there and do nothing. The next minute I hate it and wish that I lived in a shack that didn’t need to be maintained.
- Am I doing a good job at work? I frequently feel like I am trying to bail water out of the Titanic. Is this a normal feeling when the work never seems to end?
- Is my life really making much of a difference to others and the Kingdom of God?
- What does God really want me to do with all this stuff that I have written? Is simply putting it on the Internet enough?
- Should I do something different to find my wife? How long Lord?
- Why is my house still a mess when this was supposed to be the year of eliminating the clutter and keeping everything tidy?
- Is there something I should do to be a better friend?
- Should I take only one class this semester given that I may have to work more do to problems at the office?
- Why do I struggle to finish my book projects? This has been a problem ever since Organic Faith.
- Should I go to Israel this summer? If so, what is the purpose of the trip?
- Why do I have to ask so many questions?