Never Stop Dreaming

When I stopped really looking for the woman of my dreams, I found her. I was told by many people that it sometimes happens like that. And my story is one of many relationships and no happily ever after. I have dated some amazing women, it just never fit.

Well, I have finally stopped looking. Because I found a woman who gets me, likes me and makes everything better. People who are closest to me have probably heard me talk about Lydia. We met through a co-worker. And if you know how small my office is, you know that is a miracle. (Thanks Gary).

The first time we chatted on the phone, we talked for 90 minutes. It seemed like I was re-connecting with a long-lost friend. True confession, I talked probably about 70-80% of the time during that first conversation. Ever since then, Lydia has been getting closer to equal time. She is a world-class listener. I thought I had discipled or mentored a lot of people. Then, I met her. She has me beat by a factor of four. But she is so caring, she never keeps score.

We went on our first in-person date on June 4th, 2021, and it has been a great adventure ever since then. Lydia lives in Atlanta, and I live everywhere. Over the last year, I feel like I have spent almost as much time away from my home in Steamboat Springs, Colorado as I have in town. Lots of work, ministry, family and of course long-distance dating travel.

Things we like to do together: cook, sing, road trip, hike, watch Ted Lasso, laugh at dark humor, meet our extended spiritual family tree and so much more. She has never been married, neither have I. But we both have lived full lives and value deep, lasting connections.

Lydia is fun, beautiful and adventuresome in a coffee-drinking, don’t get in my way, “I have sticky notes and know how to use them” sort of way. We are alike in many ways. And then, there are ways where we are polar opposites. She is a coffee snob (she would say aficionado). I don’t like coffee because it makes me sick. She is organized. I can always use a little bit more organization 😉 She loves “slow mornings,” I like them occasionally when I am not running around with my hair on fire. She energizes by being with people and loves creating spaces. I prefer to be alone to energize. The biggest thing we have in common is that we both agree, there isn’t anything better than spending time alone with each other.

Thank you for all the people who have prayed for me through the years to find my person. Your prayers have been answered. On Monday, March 14th, I asked Lydia to be my wife. And now, the adventure really begins. If we haven’t chatted in a while, reach out to me if you want to hear more or if you just want to give a “Congrats.”

I am so looking forward to marrying Lydia Shanks sometime later this year.

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Don’t Despise the Process

Why in such a hurry? That was the gist of the message that pastor Mike Todd delivered at the 2019 Vous Conference. This gathering focuses on young adults in the Church. And Todd’s message were certainly a word in due season. In a world full of next day delivery, Facebook likes and social media followers, Todd let everyone know that following God’s plan is not easy, nor does it come quickly. Jesus is not a fast service kind of God.

Mike Todd suggested that just like a good home cooked meal takes time to make, you can’t rush the process. Don’t expect to be newbie one day and the guy on the platform the next. It could take years or decades for your God-given dreams to come true.

Todd spoke about the call of King David in 1 Samuel 16. He pointed out that after being anointed as king by the prophet Nathan, he went back to the pasture to tend his father’s sheep. David didn’t ascend to the throne right away. It took years to occur and involved many obstacles including pursuit and murderous efforts by King Saul to sabotage him.

Todd explained, “Just like David, God may put you in the shadows so that you can develop the character you will need for the future…You can’t Instagram integrity. You can’t Facebook faithfulness.”

But we like to try to hurry up the wait. We want it now? Waiting can become the seeds of resentment. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It all depends on how you view each season of your life. Why get worked up over something you can’t change? What would happen if you are just faithful in this moment where you are? Todd suggested that many in the audience need to go back where they are unknown to tend the pasture and grow spiritually so that they are ready when a platform comes. Don’t waste the wait. Seize it for the gift that it can be.

Proverbs 3:5-6 calls believers to trust in the Lord. The path ahead for the moment may not make sense. David wasn’t looking to be king. Actually, he wasn’t even invited to the party. His father didn’t consider him worthy enough to be there to meet the prophet. He was the youngest who was tending the sheep and the goats.

Todd admonished, “The Lord is looking for humble servants – people who can serve Him at the goat level.”

Todd called on these emerging leaders to get humble before God and to serve in simple, obscure ways. He stated, “How you steward the pasture determines if you will ever lead in the palace.”

A reason to tend the goats is so that you remain humble and aware if you ever reach the throne. Saul had been anointed too as a leader. He was God’s first choice, but he forgot his goat level and ended up losing the throne.

It can be so easy to despair when our current season is not what we desire the most. The call may come to fruition in the most unusual way and at the most unexpected time. Todd warned, “Your next season is dependent on this season… This is not a wasted season.”

After the goat level comes the guitar level. This occurred when David served in the palace and played music for the king. David was improving his skill. He was learning about what life was like in the palace. The first time that David ever goes to the palace, he enters as a servant.

Then comes the Goliath level where David is ready to take an incredible stand against an impossible enemy. But David doesn’t even see how big the problem is. He focuses on the might of his God.

Todd encouraged the audience at Vous to go back to their churches and communities to be an answer to a problem. That is how you grow so that God can elevate you. Todd further explained, “Elevation comes from God.”

This is what happened with David. He didn’t try to seize the throne by force. He was wise enough to know that God would raise him to become king at the right time. David trusted God’s timeline. But it can be so hard for us to follow his example when we live in an instantaneous culture.

Focus on what you can do now to do the little things right. If God has called you, He will elevate and raise you up at the appointed time. The first call for all believers is to seek God’s face (Psalm 27).

Don’t despise the process because there is no way around it to be ready and successful in God’s Kingdom.

Maybe We All Need to Go Back To Kindergarten?

Robert Fulghum wrote a book years ago titled, “All I Really Need to Know I  Learned in Kindergarten. ” He identified 16 principles to live by. In this day and age of online outrage and everyone is an expert on everything, I wonder if we would all be better off if we acted more like how we were taught to behave in kindergarten. These are Fulghum’s keys to life. Some good advice because COVID-19 has brought out some of the best and some of the worst in our society, including The Church.

1. Share everything.
2. Play fair.
3. Don’t hit people.
4. Put things back where you found them.
5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.
6. Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
7. Say you’re SORRY when you HURT somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
9. Flush.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
11. Live a balanced life – learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.
12. Take a nap every afternoon.
13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we.
16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.”

Zoom Zoom… Back in Time

Sometimes you don’t know how amazing a group of people are until you are no longer together. I felt this way the other night while on a Zoom call with my former youth group leadership team. We were missing a few characters. But these people all in some way impacted my life and the lives of many amazing students.

Doing youth ministry is a calling, but it is also a blessing — especially when you get a chance to share unforgettable experiences with young people who you know are going to leave a legacy in the world.

So, I wanted to just brag a little bit on my old team.

PD (Daniel Susenbach) – He was the leader of the pack, the eternal optimist. Daniel has never met a stranger. He is the kind of guy who can make you bust a gut laughing and then believe you can do almost anything the next minute. He is one of my best friends, and if I had to be stranded on deserted island with a group of people, I certainly would want him there.

Tim Matthews (Timmmmmm!) – I think he could literally preach the cover off a Bible, and the young people would be like, “Oh man! Do that again.” Tim knew how to say something that you never forget. He also has an amazing life story, and is a ton of fun. With Tim, you know that following Jesus is never boring. {Tim is not in the picture, nor was on the Zoom call 😦  } Next time Tim, next time.

Joanna Fowler (Mrs. J) – She was always the cool mom and administrator. She made us all look good by being prepared for almost anything. Some people who had her job would be kind of by the book. But she always laughed and made everyone feel special. Mrs. J. was the adult in the room who knew how to keep everyone safe. At the same time, she was able to connect with students.

Jim and Melinda Patterson – Yes, these are two people not one. But they are such a great team. They are an amazing couple who I count as very good friends. I love so much about them, especially how different they are from each other. If I was going into spiritual warfare, I can’t think of a better servant and prayer warrior than Jim (P. Diddy). He knows how to get to the root of the matter, and he is willing to go deep and be there for youngsters. Jim is very wise and loves to pun. I even love that about him (just don’t tell him). Melinda is always the voice of reason in the room. She loves people enough to tell them the truth. And she never seems to let much get to her. Oh, and the Pattersons are hilarious when you see them interact together. I chuckling just thinking about some of my discussion with them in their kitchen.

Mama Karen – She was like a mother or older sister to so many of the Mix students. She has always been a youth worker rockstar.  Oh, and she is a great cook. Three words “Baby Angel Cake.” Inside joke, but trust me… so good. Karen is full of love and her name should be caring because she is like 90% heart. Karen knows how to be a safe person in a world full of unhealthy people.

Heidi – Speaking of funny. Literally, I don’t know if I have ever laughed around somebody so much as Heidi. She always knew how to put the truth in a joke. But don’t let her shenanigans fool you, she was wise and knew how to see through student’s crap. Plus, she has this way that her eye twitches when she is upset. It’s sort of like a super power that keeps her from going insane. Heidi connected well with students and is an amazing friend.

Mike Jefferson – Mike really loved the middle school students. In the dictionary under the word “Faithful” is a picture of Mike. Full of the Spirit and always willing to forgive, Mike is one of those guys who makes a bigger impact than anyone realizes. I learned a lot from his gentle demeanor and approach to ministry. He does have a mental disorder because he is a Washington Redskins fan. But nobody is perfect. 😉

Diane Burns – Always represented how parents might feel well in our discussions. She is an amazing prayer warrior who was willing to be there for students. She raised three world-class kids, who are now adults. She has been a super volunteer for years.

Bryan and Darla – Students loved Bryan, and he connected well with some of the outsider kids. Super witty and smart, Bryan is very competitive. He challenged me to be a better youth leader… just don’t tell him I said that. Darla is also competitive and smart. We once played a game of assassin with rubber bands, she killed me by pretending she wanted to have a spiritual discussion. {I never forgot that Darla.} Darla is very logical and dependable. She is just a super solid person who will do what she says she will do.

Super Honorable Mention: Charlie Coker, Emilie Hyatt (Coker) and so many others…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reasons Why Many People Don’t Answer the Call to Be Christian Mentors

One of the clearest commandments in the New Testament to the disciples, and thus to the Church is to make disciples of all nations. This is one area where we don’t need a call for the Lord. He has already given it. We don’t need to wonder if we are called to help others connect and grow in their relationship with God. That is something all true Christ followers should engage in. And it will look different for everyone. There is no one way to do it.

I will never forget one time when an older man in Virginia said, “I can’t disciple anyone. I don’t know that much about the Bible. I love God, but I couldn’t lead a small group of men talking about the Bible.”

I asked the man, “What do you like to do?” He responded, “I like to work on classic cars.” I suggested, “You mean to tell me that there aren’t some young men in your community who know nothing about cars and wouldn’t love to learn and maybe even drive a classic car after fixing it?” He looked at me and said, “Yeah, I guess that could work. But that isn’t discipleship.” I asked, “Who said? You could teach these young guys about cars and involve some life lessons while you work. You could maybe chat about one Bible verse while you are under the hood replacing parts or changing the oil. All you need to do is be intentional with offering your time and a listening ear.” He said, “Yeah, but what if I don’t know the answer to a Bible question. I replied, “You ain’t God. Just tell you are not sure but will do some digging and praying and get back to them. It’s as easy as that.”

This man left that day with a new definition of discipleship. It isn’t a Bible study or therapy session. Or it doesn’t have to be just that. Discipleship is a walk. It starts with being available and willing to care.

My Discipleship Definition: Connecting people to Christ and leading them to a vibrant relationship with Him, His Church and His mission.

No where in there do you see a requirement to know everything or be a great teacher. Those skills help. But most people just need one thing, your time and attention.

In talking with many people through the years, I have found these four common reasons why many Christians do not answer this call.
1.) Nobody ever did it for me, so I haven’t had a proper model to follow.
2.) I don’t feel qualified because there is so much I don’t know about God and the Bible. Or I am far from perfect and am afraid that I am not ready.
3.) I don’t know who to approach about mentoring and don’t know how to start.
4.) I am too busy doing other things with work, family and ministry.

Reason #1
• You may not have had a good example to follow on this earth. But if God has called you to it, He will equip you to do it.
Matthew 28:19 – “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

• Jesus is our example. (Matthew 16:24 and 1 John 2:6)
• Holy Spirit does the heavy lifting.
• It isn’t too late to seek a mentor yourself.
• Every believer should be investing in their own spiritual development.

Reason #2
• You aren’t supposed to be Bible Answer Man. That’s not what a spiritual mentor is.

There is only one true guru, and His name is Jesus.
1 Corinthians 11:1 – “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”

Reason #3
• The Lord will make a connection and place somebody along your path if you pray and ask for it.
• Grow in Christ and others will be attracted to you. (Colossians 3:16)
• Pray and ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit. (John 16:13)

Reason #4
• If Jesus commanded us to make disciples, why don’t you think you have time to do it? What is more important than a prime command of Christ?
• We have to move from an additional mindset to an intentional one where we look to involve discipleship in our daily rhythms. It isn’t about doing more. It is about involving more people in your life and spiritual development. The best way to do this is to make one or two meals per month an opportunity to be intentional to help others grow in their relationship with God and others.
• All it takes is one person. Do you have time to invest in the spiritual growth of one person? This may already be somebody that you know.

Scared But Prepared

At the Vous Conference 2019, Rich Wilkerson Jr., Chad Veach and Michael Todd spoke on leadership in the church. They summed up leadership as simply influence. And we are all leaders at some points in our lives even if we don’t feel like it. The following were some of their leadership nuggets…

• Rich said that Christian leadership is a walk with God, a journey of dependence on the Holy Spirit.
• Mike admitted, “I am a leader and don’t what I am doing a lot of the time… The Lord said to me, ‘I need you to be a leader and to step toward the obstacle not move away from it.'” He further encouraged those listening to stand and declare what God has placed on our heart and make that a regular practice in our prayer life.
• Chad suggested, “You don’t know what you are prepared for until you step into it… You should be living now like what you are waiting for.” “Opportunity knocks but you are complaining about the noise.”
• Chad challenged, “We don’t go off our feelings; we go off our faith. If feeling is our guide, we won’t lead long.”
• Mike pointed out that having the right pace is critical to reach our destination in Christ. People take the attitude, “I am going to have to do it because I don’t trust that God will.” Instead of hustle and grind, what if we trust and wait.
• Mike mentioned that Jesus even had to slow down to live at the pace of grace. He suggested that the silent years between Jesus’ childhood and earthly ministry was a time in the darkroom where he developed. Too many people today are in a rush to get onto the platform and make their name known. Todd commented, “Your wait will never be wasted.” God will do something through those times of waiting if you let Him. We have this fear of missing out or missing our opportunity. But the “right thing at the wrong time is a curse.”
• Mike added that he learned from the Lord, “Anything you make up outside of me, you will have to sustain outside of me.”

As leaders we are all in the same boat. Sometimes we are affraid to stand up. Sometimes we feel unprepared. But when we follow God’s prompting, He will supply what we lack. When we wait for His timing, we will reach the peak at just the right moment.

Time

Time is something that we only have a limited amount of, and at the end of our lives wonder where it all went. Time is worth a lot more than dollars per hour; it is a measure of what we value and what kind of legacy we hope to leave.

How we spend our time shows our priorities and what we think is truly valuable. Tell me what you think is important all you want, show me your calendar, and then I will know what you prioritize.

When we die, time is something we will have an infinite amount of if you believe the Scriptures, and what we do in this current life echoes into the next one — especially our relationship with God and dedication to His mission.

Time is a lot like water. We waste a lot of it because, we are lazy and tend to follow the path of least resistance. But properly channeled and used, our time can achieve great things, such as creating a major canyon in the middle of a desert. Wisdom and character can help us know how to use time. But as a Christian, I believe the best guide is the Holy Spirit. He should direct our days. Sadly, I know I call the shots way too often.

What we post about on our Facebook page and Twitter account shows a lot about how we spend our time and what preoccupies our thoughts. I agree that 50 million babies killed in the name of convenience is more than just a tragedy. It is the shame of our generation and a stain on our “progressive” culture.

Ultimately, God is the only one who stands outside of time. That is why He alone has the best vantage point on how we should spend the limited time we have in this life.

Beyond Mere Words — Prayer

Prayer

By George Herbert

Prayer the church’s banquet, angel’s age,

         God’s breath in man returning to his birth,

         The soul in paraphrase, heart in pilgrimage,

The Christian plummet sounding heav’n and earth

Engine against th’ Almighty, sinner’s tow’r,

         Reversed thunder, Christ-side-piercing spear,

         The six-days world transposing in an hour,

A kind of tune, which all things hear and fear;

Softness, and peace, and joy, and love, and bliss,

         Exalted manna, gladness of the best,

         Heaven in ordinary, man well drest,

The milky way, the bird of Paradise,

         Church-bells beyond the stars heard, the soul’s blood,

         The land of spices; something understood.

————————————————-

This poem captures well the difficulties in explaining or defining prayer. Prayer is so much more than just giving God our wish list or telling Him what He already knows. Prayer goes beyond recognizing God as God, praising Him for His mighty deeds,  or calling Him to move in the struggles and trials of life. Prayer cannot be broken down to just a simple formula because Scripture is full of many different types of prayers. And each life situation seems to call for something different.

I particularly like the line, “The soul in paraphrase, heart in pilgrimage,” because I think of prayer more as a journey than anything else. It helps us put to words what is going on inside of us, and more importantly start to imagine what is God’s response. Prayer positions us to explore our true self and identify the areas that most need the power of  the cross. Prayer is not as much about self discovery as it is surrender to Christ and recognition of His higher truth.

We never really “arrive at a final destination” when it comes to mastering prayer. We simply delve deeper and deeper into a treasure that is boundless and difficult to explain. The goal is not knowledge alone but relationship.

Sometimes we may feel that we are doing it wrong — a failure in prayer. But God is not grading our progress as much as He is calling us closer to His point of view. Honestly, we may doubt and feel that we are truly alone. We may wonder if God is really there and start to think that we are merely talking to the wind, but even in this honest admission, we discover God’s grace. The Lord allows the silence because His constant expression might be too much for us to bear. Or He simply may not desire to speak for some reason. He may just want to listen to what His children have to say.

Prayer is based on the reality that we are loved and have access to God. In faith, we must rest assured in the truth that even if He never says another word to us, God has loudly declared His love for us by His sacrifice on the cross and the revelation of His Holy Word. Amen!

What Does God Want from Me?

A lot of people talk about doing the will of God. But to do that, we must know what He truly wants. God could have made this easy on us by writing in the sky, sending angels to answer all of our questions or making the Bible more like a manual or Life for Dummies book. But He didn’t do any of those things. Why is this hearing from God thing so tough? Some people talk as if everything is clear. Others honestly admit that they listen for God and all they hear is the sound of crickets. 

If there are so many paths in front of us, why doesn’t God simply remove the distractions? The good Lord could remove all room for doubt. But then would we really ever have faith or free will?

When many people think about the will of God, they automatically gravitate toward what they are supposed to do for God. But honestly, if God is really God, He doesn’t need us to do anything for Him. His plan does include human involvement. But that isn’t out of necessity. It must be for some other reason.

Talking with a high schooler today, I was inspired to write this post. Too often we think of God’s will as a place, action or destination. But what if it is something bigger and yet more basic? What if our thinking about this question is all wrong?

The Bible says we are to take up our cross daily, which seems to suggest that sacrifice is required to do God’s will. But the Old Testament also states that “obedience is better than sacrifice.” The Apostle Paul encouraged believers to become mature in their faith and the fruit of the Spirit. And yet, Jesus said that we could not even enter the Kingdom of God unless we have the faith of a little child. Jesus commanded His disciples to go and make more disciples, which suggests the focus of our mission should be about other people. But Jesus also said that we can do nothing apart from His power and life. So which mission is primary to know and love God or to share the Gospel, make disciples and extend His Kingdom on the earth?

The problem is that we tend to look at this as an either or situation. And in reality, outreach flows from our personal walk with God. As I have pondered this question, I believe the true mission for every Christian is the prayer that David prayed in Psalms 27:4, “One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.”

The primary mission of a Christian is to know and love God. It all starts with our personal relationship with Jesus. He is the living water as Scripture explains. Just as we need water to sustain life, we must have a relationship with God to live in the way as the Creator intended. This involves a wide variety of experiences and actions, such as reading and following sacred Scripture, prayer, obedience to the Word of God, thanksgiving, recognition of God’s power and presence in daily life, sacraments, spiritual gifts and miracles, confessions of faith, sharing the Gospel, etc.

And in order to have living water that remains alive and pure, it must have an outlet. Otherwise, we become like a stagnant pool where disease and bacteria can grow. That is why part of the Christian mission is to share the love and truth that God has deposited into our lives.

The Lord has given us a picture of this reality in the Dead Sea, which has no outlet. It is one of the saltiest bodies of water on the planet because it is located at such a low point. Everything flows downhill and mineral deposits collect killing aquatic life. If you simply receive from God and do not give it away, you will become full and not be able to receive any more. And what had previously been living water can become stagnant, less useful and a breading pool for disease. This picture demonstrates the dual nature of God’s ultimate purpose for humanity. It can be seen in the words of Jesus. He summed up the law and the prophet by saying, “He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Luke 10:27).

How you go about doing that is what makes you unique. The key is realizing that God’s will for your life is more about the journey you take with God and the person you become along the way than what you do for God or which path you choose to take.

LA Infusion 2013 Top Ten

(Ok, it was just too good for only 10, so top 15)

1.) Getting to know my small group. Seven incredible young men of God who are ready to rock the world for Jesus!

2.) Honest conversations with the Infusion staff about life and God, especially Matt Perez, Daniel Chae, Hannah Prothero, John Ribeiro, Johnny Gillespie, Nick Mason, Chip Messick and others.   

3.) Showing the love of Jesus to people on the streets of Hollywood. Meeting Logan and Jon on the street and praying with them. Logan and I are still in conversation via text message.

4.) Let’s Go Down to the Water – inspiring song by Jake Mason about the complete forgiveness of God for ALL of my sin.

5.) Feast at Bronnie Lee’s house with Infusion staff. The Lee family rocks!

6.) Hearing from God as He opened up 1 John 2:3-6 to me following the first teaching by Joy Dawson. Knowing Jesus changes everything. See my blog post.

7.) Watching  Jake and Katherine lead the Infusion team.

8.) Seeing at least more than 80 young people realize that God loves them and does speak to them. That’s priceless.  

9.) Brian Brennt’s Love Revolution teaching on Wednesday in Hollywood. We are family!

10.) Talking with Infusioners about their future and identity in Christ.

11.) Powerful prayer encounters with various Infusion students and staff.

12.) Working in the kitchen with Teresa Kwon, Nicole Kwon, Matt Perez and John Romaine.

13.) Korean style prayer with the student leaders from GMI. These young people know how to pray with passion and love.

14.) Playing RAVE! Ball and getting three outs in the T-ball game during game night.

15.) Conversation with Johnny Gillespie about modeling Jesus’ radical love in marriage.