Never Stop Dreaming

When I stopped really looking for the woman of my dreams, I found her. I was told by many people that it sometimes happens like that. And my story is one of many relationships and no happily ever after. I have dated some amazing women, it just never fit.

Well, I have finally stopped looking. Because I found a woman who gets me, likes me and makes everything better. People who are closest to me have probably heard me talk about Lydia. We met through a co-worker. And if you know how small my office is, you know that is a miracle. (Thanks Gary).

The first time we chatted on the phone, we talked for 90 minutes. It seemed like I was re-connecting with a long-lost friend. True confession, I talked probably about 70-80% of the time during that first conversation. Ever since then, Lydia has been getting closer to equal time. She is a world-class listener. I thought I had discipled or mentored a lot of people. Then, I met her. She has me beat by a factor of four. But she is so caring, she never keeps score.

We went on our first in-person date on June 4th, 2021, and it has been a great adventure ever since then. Lydia lives in Atlanta, and I live everywhere. Over the last year, I feel like I have spent almost as much time away from my home in Steamboat Springs, Colorado as I have in town. Lots of work, ministry, family and of course long-distance dating travel.

Things we like to do together: cook, sing, road trip, hike, watch Ted Lasso, laugh at dark humor, meet our extended spiritual family tree and so much more. She has never been married, neither have I. But we both have lived full lives and value deep, lasting connections.

Lydia is fun, beautiful and adventuresome in a coffee-drinking, don’t get in my way, “I have sticky notes and know how to use them” sort of way. We are alike in many ways. And then, there are ways where we are polar opposites. She is a coffee snob (she would say aficionado). I don’t like coffee because it makes me sick. She is organized. I can always use a little bit more organization 😉 She loves “slow mornings,” I like them occasionally when I am not running around with my hair on fire. She energizes by being with people and loves creating spaces. I prefer to be alone to energize. The biggest thing we have in common is that we both agree, there isn’t anything better than spending time alone with each other.

Thank you for all the people who have prayed for me through the years to find my person. Your prayers have been answered. On Monday, March 14th, I asked Lydia to be my wife. And now, the adventure really begins. If we haven’t chatted in a while, reach out to me if you want to hear more or if you just want to give a “Congrats.”

I am so looking forward to marrying Lydia Shanks sometime later this year.

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Key Questions When Evaluating Ministry or Life Options

The other day while going through old files, I found a piece of paper that I used a while back to make a ministry decision. I was trying to pray through and decide where to live and do ministry.  Honestly, I still don’t know if I made the right decision in the past. Like any decision, there were positives and negatives for each possible path way. There were risks no matter which decision I made.

May my questions help if you ever find yourself in the same boat.

1.) Is the Holy Spirit guiding me to either option? Or is this a decision I am free to make fully on my own? Can I honor God and His call at either place? Can good fruit come from either choice? Why or why not?

2.) Which leader that I would serve under to I trust and connect with the most? How long will this leader likely be there?

3.) Which option most needs what I am hoping to launch? Where will it be easier to recruit volunteers and participants?

4.) Which is easier to create a ministry or a culture?

5.) Which ministry partner has offered more resources (financial, facilities and people)?

6.) Where am I more likely to find my wife?

7.) Do I want more autonomy or direction with more top-level feedback?

8.) If I don’t leave my hometown now, will I ever leave?

9.) Which location/opportunity will be easier? Which will likely be the most fun?

10.) How much is recruitment/ministry growth fear a key driver in my decision?

 

 

 

 

 

No Resolutions This Year, Just a Better Attitude

A friend asked me the other day if I had set any resolutions for 2019.  I had to respond, “No, this year is marked by three attitudes not concrete goals.” Last year was an amazing twelve months, and I accomplished a lot of my goals. This year I went jogging on the first day of January and felt like I wasn’t supposed to set any resolutions focused on specific goals. Instead, I was drawn to three different attitudes that the Lord wants to develop in me.

But wait? I am an American. Don’t I need a goal? Don’t I need a mission? Afterall, goals without clear steps and a deadline are just wishes… right?

I am not saying that 2019 will a do nothing year. No, it will be marked by three attitudes that will hopefully drive me to God’s best. Sometimes it can be so hard to keep New Year’s resolutions because I try to do things in my own strength and drive. The greatest changes in my life I have found can only come when I yield to God’s strength in the middle of my weakness.

No, 2019 is not a year for complacency. 2019 will be marked by a better attitude based on three key focuses tied to Scripture.

1.) Delight in the Lord – I wonder if many Christians are unhappy because they seek satisfaction in the wrong places and things. Sometimes I seek God out of duty not out of delight. I want to get to the point where I truly delight in God’s Word, in sitting on the deck just listening or worshipping, in telling others about Him with such enthusiasm that others are amazed. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 37:4 is quite a promise. So, how does one delight in the Lord? Do I have to fake it until I make it? Does delight start in honestly admitting all the things that I would rather seek than God? How do you truly delight in something or someone? That is what I hope to learn first and foremost in 2019. I will let you know what I discover along the journey.

2.) Rejoice in the Lord Always – The apostle Paul when wrongfully imprisoned and put in shackles didn’t have a pity party or a gripe fest. Quite the opposite, he had a worship party calling on the Lord in thanksgiving. I have so so much to be thankful for. If the Lord never did another thing for me, I should never stop praising. Why can it be so easy to complain about what I don’t have instead of being thankful for the blessings I already possess?

Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say it again: Rejoice!” The apostle Paul learned the secret to happiness is contentment in God not happiness based on his circumstance or situation. Praise and thanksgiving frees up our heart to receive God’s love and to share it with others. Worship is so much more than a song. It is an attitude of hope based in God’s promises. It is rooted in the character of God not the happiness of the moment. In a world where people look for affirmation from likes, retweets and winning social media perceptions, we already have the love that matters most – God’s affirmation, acceptance and love.

One of the few places in Scripture where we see God’s will explicitly detailed is I Thessalonians 5:16-18. It says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

God’s will is for us to give thanks in all circumstances. Wow! That is so hard to do. We don’t have to be thankful for all situations. But we should learn how to rejoice in God no matter what is happening around us.

I now live in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, a vacation paradise. From word-class skiing to hiking, biking and fishing, it is so beautiful. I live where other people come for vacation. It is a great blessing. One thing that I quickly discovered though is the number of truly depressed and even suicidal people in town. How can you live in a place where every season brings some new treasure and yet the suicide rate in my county is among the worst in the state? A friend and mentor explained that people come to paradise thinking it would fix all their problems, but they quickly discover their problems come with them and may even get worse. A change of scenery doesn’t change the emptiness they feel. Plus, living at altitude can be a physical challenge as well impacting one’s emotional health. Thankfully, I have not faced physical challenges living here.

One key I have found in life is that worship can free my soul. Worship focuses my attention on what is good, lovely and true. Worship takes me outside of myself and into a deeper, broader story.  2019 will be marked by more worship, more thankfulness and more gratitude, even when things don’t go as I had hoped. My desire is to praise and pray first, worry or complain less.

3.)  Keep in step with the Spirit – When it comes to misunderstanding God, I believe the Holy Spirit is the clear winner. This means we try to live holy lives without the Holy Spirit enabling our actions. We try to make decisions based on our own wisdom. We ignore the helper who Jesus sent, and this grieves the heart of God. Jesus was the most Spirit-filled, Spirit-led man who ever lived. What was His secret? How could Jesus in his flesh be the amazing person that He was? Jesus kept in step with the Spirit.

Galatians 5:25 says, “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” I love how the New Living translation renders this verse, “Let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.” Yes, the Holy Spirit should guide and empower every aspect of our lives. Why do so few Christians truly live in God’s power, I believe it is because we ignore the Holy Spirit. I count myself among those who need so much more of the Spirit in my daily walk. Lord, help me to keep in step with Your Spirit this year and every year.

All three of the attitudes are rooted in a growing, vibrant walk with God. These are not new beliefs or concepts to me. But I think I have only skimmed the surface of delight in God, rejoicing in the Lord and knowing the Holy Spirit.

What is my real goal in 2019? To simply know Him better and let this discovery influence every aspect of my life. Hopefully, this attitude and mindset will lead to my best year yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doors Open, Doors Close

Over the last few years, I have been on an amazing ride with a number of other believers to create a gap year discipleship program for young adults in the Richmond area. After a successful first class last year, I thought the dream was really catching on. But over the the last year despite a significant recruiting efforts, RVA LEADS has not been able to obtain enough students to launch a second class in 2017/2018. We might have been able to reach our goal if we significantly changed the model and cut our costs structure. And at the same time we faced some staff challenges with major members of our core team experiencing some major life shifts. With all of these things going on, it became clear to me that we couldn’t really pull off LEADS this year and have it be the caliber program we want with the right number of students.

At the same time, some opportunities have opened up for me out West in Colorado. It is amazing how one door closes and another opens. I am reminded of what it says in Scripture, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

I have lived in Richmond for so long. It is hard to imagine moving. But in late October, I am going to be moving out West to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. I will be serving on the leadership team for Protege, the discipleship program run by my good friend, Daniel Susenbach. In addition, I expect to jump right into some leadership opportunities at Steamboat Christian Center. And I am looking forward to finally realizing a dream of living out West in the mountains.

Don’t fret my Richmond friends. 🙂 I will still be traveling back and forth from time to time as my job and family still reside in the Richmond area. Hopefully, some time in late October I will have a final going away shindig for friends to stop by and see me before I depart.

I am very excited for what God is doing. The Protege participants are amazing, and I look forward to working with them to spur them onto deeper discipleship.

It is hard to see a dream sort of die. But I think that God used LEADS to teach me so much. I am so thankful for all of the work of our staff and volunteers. I am so grateful for the students who went through the first year’s class. And I believe that the Lord is going to use what I learned to help others in some way in the near future with the gap year movement. I am just not quite sure how yet.

I am still around for about a month or so. Call or text me if you want to connect in  person. Godspeed — Chaille

Things I Wish I Had Said

When a young person or anybody tragically dies, it can be hard on special occasions, such as birthdays. It was recently the 21st birthday of a young man who died last year. I had known this person since he was just a kid. I remember throwing football with him in his front yard. I remember him pulling pranks on me during camping trips when he was in middle school. Occasionally, I would work with him on advancements in Royal Rangers.

Through the years, we kind of lost touch. We would see each other maybe a few times each year. I remember going to some high school football games. Every once and a while I caught up with him for lunch or just gave him a call to let him know that I cared.

I remember playing pool with him a few years ago when he had just come back to Christ and turned some things around in his life. It was a blessing to hear how God was moving in his life despite some significant challenges. That is why it was so hard when he died.

I remember the week that he died. The Holy Spirit placed him on my heart several times. And in the busyness of life, I never called. I forgot. I got sidetracked. Good intentions, but no real action. Then, the next day I planned to call, but he was already dead. His life snuffed out too early.

This is not a confession or some kind of apology. He had many loving people in communication with him the week that he died. But I do wish that I had called. This reminds me that the next time the Holy Spirit brings somebody to remembrance, I should stop to take action. I should never be so busy that I cannot stop to obey the leading of the Holy Spirit or take time to connect with someone in the moment. There are things that I wish that I had said that week. Maybe they wouldn’t have made a difference in the end. But at least he would have known that I said them.

Chris, buddy. I miss you man. Know that I always believed in you and still do hope for the best. Happy 21st!

Are You Living in Your Divine Calling?

While in discussion with some students at The Mix tonight, I noticed how they all seemed to think of the term “calling” as it relates to their future job or career. We were discussing God’s callings for our lives. It was a fairly open context. But the discussion tended to gravitate toward skills, interests and careers.

Sometimes we tend to think our call is just about what we do as a job. But it is so much more than that. It really touches every area of life. Our calling is really whatever the Holy Spirit is directing us to do at the moment. I believe that our calling is both a very complex and simple thing. Really, our calling can change through the years as we transition through various phases of life. What we do when we are sixteen is not likley to represent our life 10 years later, 20 years later or 40 years later.

Yet, as a Christian there are some callings that I believe are not unique to me. But they are part of the calling for every true believer. All Christians are called to love God and live for His Kingdom and glory. We are all called to be witnesses of Christ’s message and be connected to a body of local believers. We are all called to pray, read the Bible and seek to know God better.

Thinking about my own calling, I am reminded of what the Holy Spirit impressed on my heart ten years ago when I went out to Kansas City to pray at IHOP just as the prayer center was getting its start. I believe God placed the following four key calls on my life: 1.) Seek God’s face in a personal, intimate relationship, 2.) Write revelation that God reveals as I seek His face, 3.) Pray for those God has called me to love, 4.) Disciple the remnant.

The first part of my calling is very generic. All Christians are to seek Christ. But the second was unique to me. I was to write the revelation that the Spirit showed me as I seek God. The third connected to the fourth. Prayer was to fuel my ministry to disciple and train up future leaders in God’s Kingdom. All of these callings developed through the years. For example, I came up with a pretty well developed sense of what God meant by remnant.

I am seeking all four callings in some respects in my life today. None of these callings are directly related to my job as a journalist and publisher serving the forest products and logistics industries. My job provides me the resources, time and flexibility to carry out these callings.

It seems that sometimes when people are young they get all worked up over what they are going to do with their life. My suggestion is to simply give it away to God. Realize that your career path may change, but your identity as a Christian doesn’t – in time you only get to know the real you better.

I believe that more than worrying about your future career, the best thing to do is to make sure that you are living for God today. Focus on whatever path you are on to live as much as possible for God. Sure, you can prepare, study, and make smart education and lifestyle decisions. Education, training, hard work are all good things. You should think about the future. But you should not get so worked up over your decisions that you fail to realize how you walk down whatever path you take is as important as which path you choose to take.

Are you living in your divine calling? Stop to ask the Holy Spirit today to help you get to know the real you.

It’s Been A Long, Long Time

Sorry it has been  several months since my last post. Life has been beyond busy. I need to get back to my blog because I have some intellectual constipation. This blog has always been a cheap form of therapy for me. It’s the place that I can vent. Hopefully, it helps other people too.

Today,  I saw an interesting CNN piece on the differences between boys and girls in education. The concepts are very simple and obvious. I have generally thought that many classrooms are setup to make some students fail. Honestly, can every other middle school boy really be ADD? Or do we just like to label boys as classroom problems because they can’t stay still?

View the CNN video spot and see what you think.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/12/09/am.chetry.single.sex.class.cnn